She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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