we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
