yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
