What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
