two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
