Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize