i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize