I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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