just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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