STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize