she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
