Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
