bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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