It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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