i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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