No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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