Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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