It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
