Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
