tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
