Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
