East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
