There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
