So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
