Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sponge bath it is.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
