Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize