never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
