I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
When are your genitals available?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
