Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
