No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
