I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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