I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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