Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Enjoy the penises
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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