I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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