At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
