so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
