She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
