it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
