hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize