ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
