I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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