her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
God, I missed his penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
