i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
