oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
