Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
