dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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