Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
