I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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