If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
