Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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