His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize