butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize