I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
