We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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