It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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