Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You may now shotgun with the bride
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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