I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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