yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
