You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
