This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
