K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She needs sedatives and a leash
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
