New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hippo gnu deer
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
