she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
