So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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