Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
