Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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