4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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