you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
