I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
